


Meet the Parents (And the Three Ghosts That Live in Our House)

by kimmsie



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Lydia is a Lesbian, Meet the Family, Oneshot, Post-Canon, and lydia's gross gremlin brother, awkward firsts, beetlejuice is a pest, bj lives with them, due to the events of the musical, everyone who lives in the house can see the ghosts, he's charles's pseudo son, i don't actually speak italian, lydia and her girlfriend are the same age, so spare me if there are errors and blame google translate, this is not a creepy situation dw, tossed some italian adam in there because my discord server has corrupted me, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24721831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimmsie/pseuds/kimmsie
Summary: Lydia brings her girlfriend home for the first time, expecting to have a quiet dinner with her father and stepmother – but nothing really goes as expected in the Maitland-Deetz household, these days.
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz/Delia Deetz, Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Lydia Deetz/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Meet the Parents (And the Three Ghosts That Live in Our House)

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to a friend in the BJ server I'm in who wanted gay self-insert with Lydia. I willingly provide <3

"Look, I know she isn't going to be able to see you." Lydia says, addressing the ghostly figures of the Maitlands on the living room couch in front of her. "I still want you to meet her. She means a lot to me, you know?" She fidgets with the lace at the bottom of her dress.

"Of course we'll be here, sweetie." Barbara says, glancing at Adam, who lovingly puts his arm around his wife's shoulders. "We want to meet her just as much as everyone else."

"And you," Lydia says, turning to Beetlejuice, "Stay out of the way."

He crosses his legs from his perch at the top of the rocking chair and sticks his (horribly colored) tongue out at her. "I'll cause whatever mayhem I damn want to." He says, and to prove this, conjures a small, red ball, which he throws in an arc at Delia. It bounces off her hair and she makes an exaggerated noise of distress.

"Beetlejuice!" Charles chides as Delia pats her hair back into place.

"Beej!" Lydia exclaims at the same time, hiding a laugh behind her hand. "No throwing stress balls at my girlfriend, okay? No throwing anything."

He slouches, crossing his arms, and slides down the entire back of the chair until he's sitting properly in it. "No promises," He grumbles, but judging by the resigned look on his face and the slight droop to his hair, Lydia hopes he won't be up to too much tonight.

"You made dinner, right?" She addresses Delia, who is holding up a tiny pocket mirror and surveying the spot that Beetlejuice attacked.

She pauses. "Yes, Lydia, don't worry. I wouldn't let your father near the kitchen to cook anything for something like this." She lays a hand on Charles's shoulder, who looks as though he's in the middle of deciding whether to be offended or not. "No ill intent, Charles, dear, you just tend to make the same two meals… Tuna melts really aren't the best first impression." She looks back at her daughter. "I got Adam to give me some help."

Lydia grins. The food will be delicious if Adam helped to make it. "Pappardelle Bolognese," Adam pipes up. "With some fresh herbs from the garden, dalla mia cara." He gives Barbara a peck on the cheek and she smiles. Beetlejuice makes a sound mirroring that of a cat retching at this minor display of affection, which they all ignore.

Noticing the time on the clock that's hung by the kitchen, Lydia clasps her hands together. "I'm going to pick her up now. Debrief is over."

"Wait, Lydia – when will you be back for dinner?" Charles asks, and she pauses by the door, bouncing on her feet.

"Not sure, I'll text you, bye!" She slips outside and takes a deep breath, letting the smile grow over her face. She's ecstatic to finally introduce Bunnie to her family. They've been together now for a few months and been so extremely happy. Lydia hasn't told her about the events of the previous year, but she knows that someday she wants to trust her with it, or at least the simplified version that she told her therapist if need be. Somewhere inside, though, she has a feeling that Bunnie wouldn't hesitate to believe a word of the story.

She hops on her bike and rides to the cemetery, where Bunnie is sitting at the front gates, picking buttercups from the ground and weaving them together. "Hey," Lydia says, propping her bike against the wall. The two of them met at the cemetery. Lydia was bringing flowers for her mother's grave and the Maitlands' as well. Bunnie was sitting against a tree trunk by the pond, watching a few ducks swim in the water and dive under for food.

Bunnie looks up with a wide smile. "Hey." Lydia plops down on the grass next to her, the fabric of her dress fanning out onto the ground. "I'm nervous," Bunnie admits, adding another buttercup into the chain. Lydia leans reassuringly against her.

"I promise it'll be okay." She says, grabbing a fistful of grass and weeds and sprinkling them over her girlfriend's leg, who lets them rest there while she looks for another flower. "Delia's weird, but she means well. They're both going to love you." She sits upright again. Bunnie brushes the plants from her leg and leans forward to look over at Lydia's bike.

"You should really wear a helmet, babe." She says, fastening the chain into a loop and gently placing it onto Lydia's head.

Lydia sticks her tongue out. "Where's yours, then?" She asks.

"I didn't bike!" Bunnie giggles, brushing a piece of Lydia's hair to the side. "I walked today, I didn't want to get all sweaty and gross before meeting your family." She leans in for a kiss and Lydia happily obliges, gently resting her fingertips against her cheek. Bunnie pulls back, smiling bashfully, and her eyes flicker to the flower crown. "You should wear yellow sometime, it suits you."

"Yellow?" Lydia repeats, scrunching her nose up. "Gross." She reaches up and touches the petals on one of the flowers. "But maybe for you, Bun," She adds as an afterthought, seeing the little pout on her girlfriend's face. _My one weakness_ , Lydia thinks. _I didn't give in to shit when a demon came into my life, but this girl –_ Bunnie grabs her hand and swings it a little. _I'd steal the moon for this girl._

"When will we head back to your house?" Lydia cocks her head.

"Whenever you're ready," She responds. "I don't want to rush you."

"Then let's go now," Bunnie suggests, stretching her legs out and letting go of Lydia's hand to bend forward over them. She turns her head to the side to keep looking at Lydia while she talks. "I haven't eaten in a while just so whatever dinner is tastes good. You and your dad cannot cook," She laughs.

Lydia flips her off jokingly. "Luckily for you, Delia made dinner. Bolognese."

"Sounds great," Bunnie stands up, using the gates as balance as she rises to her feet. "And it'll be great, too, since you didn't touch it." Lydia rolls her eyes and bounces up onto her toes, attempting to sweep her girlfriend into a hug, but Bunnie nimbly dodges.

"You insult my cooking, you mock my father, the least you can do is give me some love!" Lydia complains, grinning. Bunnie practically jumps on her, arms wide, and nuzzles her face sweetly into Lydia's neck.

"Better?" She mumbles, and then blows a raspberry.

Lydia laughs. "You know I'm not ticklish!"

"Worth a shot," Bunnie responds, pulling away and poking her sides. "Maybe someday I'll catch you off guard and you'll be vulnerable!"

"I don't think that's how tickling works," She pulls her bike away from the fence and swings her leg over it. "Hop on." She invites, and Bunnie holds her waist, carefully mounting the silver pegs attached to the wheels.

"If your dress gets caught in the spokes and we go down and get hurt, I'm blaming you." Bunnie says, adjusting her foot stance.

Lydia kicks off the ground and they ride off. She's grateful that the ride is slightly downhill. It isn't sloped too much so that they'd go out of control, but it makes it easier to carry another person on the bike. "See? It's fine, you goof." Lydia says, grinning, and turns to look at Bunnie.

"Please just keep watching the road," She groans, hugging her girlfriend tighter and squeezing her eyes shut. "It is horrifying to go downhill on the back of a bike. They get to the house without conflict. No rocks under the tire, no weird men stopping them in the middle of the street, and Lydia is extremely thankful. She's found that negative things seem to happen around her, especially within the past year, and is always a little on edge for something to go wrong. "This is it, huh?" Bunnie says as Lydia slows to a stop, her bike breaks squealing.

"This is it," She responds. The house is weird, she must admit; it fits her family perfectly, but she's a bit worried about how the inside will seem. The styles of the Maitlands and the Deetzes (and Beetlejuice, even) sort of blended into a modern/floral mishmash of potted plants and abstract sculptures. (The parts that Beetlejuice added are the insistent cobwebs and occasional tears in the wallpaper that Charles grumbles over for a couple days until they seemingly repair themselves. He used to make bugs appear, but neither Delia nor Barbara were huge fans of this development. Even Adam started to object when centipedes were brought into the mix.) "Come on in," Lydia says, wheeling her bike up against the house.

She's already met Bunnie's parents and been to her place several times. It's not like she was keeping her girlfriend away from the house, she just needed some time to figure out how she was going to deal with the oddities that had become her everyday life. The door is still unlocked, just as she left it, and she swings it open widely. "We're home," She calls. Adam and Barbara are still on the couch, the living room TV now on, set to some cooking show.

Delia floats dramatically out of the kitchen as Lydia shuts the door. "Should I take my shoes off?" Bunnie whispers.

"Yeah, sure, just leave them there."

"Welcome to our house, Bunnie!" Delia demonstrates a flourishing sweep of her arm, a wooden spoon in hand. "It's wonderful to meet you!" Lydia is pretty sure there's still a little Bolognese sauce on the spoon that is definitely now on the carpet. Adam is going to have a fit about that.

Bunnie seems somewhat taken aback by her – she is admittedly jarring at first appearance – but takes in in stride and gratefully shakes her hand. "It's great to be here, Mrs. Deetz."

"Please, call me Delia," She says with a smile, still gesticulating wildly with the spoon. "You could also call me the new coolest person you know!" She dabs and Lydia groans audibly. Bunnie, shocked and not sure whether she can laugh appropriately at this, looks over at her girlfriend with a poorly suppressed smile.

"Delia, where's dad?" Lydia glances again at the spoon. "You're getting sauce on the carpet." Predictably, Adam sits up and looks over the top of the couch.

"We just had that steamed the other day!" He complains, and Delia draws the spoon back in (very slowly). Bunnie snickers and Lydia looks at her, confused – she's laughing at Delia's mannerisms, right?

Bunnie turns to the couch, fully addressing Adam. "Laundry detergent and water mixed are really good with red sauce stains," She suggests. He just stares at her, mouth slightly open, for a bit longer than would be normal, before thanking her. She smiles. "No problem!"

Delia gives Lydia an extremely obvious Look of Concern and Utter Confusion (a Delia staple). "Your dad is upstairs in the study, and _I'm_ going to go get some laundry soap!" She says, laughing in a way that sounds slightly panicked. "You two have fun, haha! Bye!" She disappears into the basement.

"Let's go to my room," Lydia suggests, in a rush to leave the living room and get away from the Maitlands as soon as possible. She was _not_ prepared for Bunnie to be able to see them; she doesn't even know what that might mean! What she's sure of is that if her girlfriend can see Adam and Barbara, she can see Beetlejuice. And _that_ is where the trouble begins.

"Who was that on the couch?" Bunnie questions.

"They're my aunt and uncle," Lydia responds, opening the door to her bedroom. _That's a lie._ "They're here a lot of the time and honestly like a second set of parents to me." _At least that part is true._

Looking around at the steeped ceiling and polaroid pictures lining the walls, Bunnie quirks an eyebrow. "How come you've never mentioned them before?"

Lydia's heart nearly stops. That's a _big_ hole in her explanation. "It's kind of a long story."

"Okay!" Bunnie says, satisfied. Lydia lets out a breath of relief she didn't realize she was holding. "Your room is awesome, babe, these photos are incredible!" She smiles. "You're going to be famous someday, I know it."

"Don't flatter me," Lydia says, embracing her in a hug from behind. "You'll be getting famous right alongside me."

Bunnie turns to face her. "Right alongside you, huh?" She grins. "I like the sound of that." They kiss, softly and sweetly, all smiles and happy sounds.

A knock on Lydia's door interrupts them and they break apart as Charles enters the bedroom. "It's nice to meet you, Bunnie. I'm Lydia's father."

"Hi, Mr. Deetz. It's nice to meet you too!"

He smiles and focuses his attention to his daughter. "Dinner is ready whenever you two are."

"You hungry?" Lydia asks.

"Absolutely!" They retreat down the stairs, the smell of garlic and butter and a wonderful pasta dish steadily creeping up the house. If Bunnie notices that the table has three more chairs than it would for a three-person family, she doesn't say anything. "It smells great, Mrs. – Delia." She compliments, catching herself in the middle of the sentence.

"Thank you so much, darling," Delia says, placing a heaping plate of pasta and sauce in the middle of the table. Charles brings in a salad of significantly smaller amount.

The adults sit, and so do the kids. "Dig in!" Charles enthuses, and Lydia prompts her girlfriend to serve herself.

She starts to fill her plate. "What about your aunt and uncle, are they joining us?" Charles gives Delia a glance and finds that she is very focused on getting herself a portion of salad. "I mean, they don't have to, but if they'd like to, I don't mind at all."

Lydia scoots herself back from the table. "I'll go see if they want to join," She says, squeezing Bunnie's shoulder in a silent reassurance.

"So, what are you planning on going to school for, Bunnie?" She hears her father ask as she heads up to the attic. This could not be going more directly opposite the way that she thought it would. She knocks on the door.

"Come in!" Barbara is leaning out the window, presumably watering some of the plants in the window box below, while Adam leans against the wall, paging through what looks to be a very old recipe book. "What's up, kiddo?" He looks up, adjusting his glasses.

Barbara folds herself back into the house, holding a watering can. She brushes her hands on her dress. "Lydia! Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?"

"Here's the thing," She rocks on her feet. "She can see you? As proved with the whole sauce-on-the-carpet advice earlier… She said you should come down for dinner, if you wanted."

Barbara lights up immediately. "Oh, I'm so glad we get to meet her sincerely! Adam, this is wonderful!" She clenches her fists and waves her arms excitedly.

He dog-ears a corner of the page he was reading and tucks his glasses into his pocket. "No ghostly activity, I assume?" Lydia nods.

"Yeah, that's a bit harder to explain than saying my aunt and uncle are over." She waves them towards the stairs. "Come on, I don't want to leave her alone with Delia for too long. I don't know exactly what could happen, but I think it might end up with a lot of money going toward crystal purchases." Bunnie is happily sitting at the table, holding a nice conversation with the two sitting across from her.

"That's why we moved out here!" She finishes, looking over at Lydia with a smile. Charles nods.

"This is Adam and Barbara," Lydia introduces, and the ghostly couple takes their usual seats at the table, warm smiles in her girlfriend's direction.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you," Barbara enthuses. "Lydia talks about you so much!"

"You do?" Bunnie teases, and Lydia gives her a playful push with her leg as she sits down again. "I heard that you helped Delia make dinner tonight, Adam." She says. "It's delicious."

He sits up a little more, proudly. "Thank you! It's an old family recipe." That must've been the book that he was looking through up in the attic. Though they don't need to eat, both Maitlands take small portion sizes in order to not seem odd. Lydia gets some as well and finally has the chance to dig in.

"You really outdid yourself tonight, it's _so_ good."

He grins. "Thanks, kid." Barbara nudges him happily with her shoulder. Dinner goes smoothly at first. Bunnie seems comfortable, Lydia is happy she can involve the Maitlands into the whole ordeal, and everyone is talking casually over huge plates of pasta.

And then, of course, Beetlejuice shows up. Nothing dramatic, just strolls into the room and sits on the edge of the table. "Beetlejuice," Charles immediately warns, more out of habit than anything else. "Dinner table isn't for sitting."

Grumbling but obliging, knowing he'll be kicked from the gathering if he doesn't listen, Beej pulls back a chair and sits. "So, Lyds, this is the chick?" 

"Bun," Lydia sighs, knowing that his appearance is downright shocking at the very least (and Bunnie looks as stunned as her disposition around family members allows). "This is Lawrence. He's the disgusting homeless man that lives in our basement."

Beetlejuice grins horribly at her, showing his yellowed teeth. "So mean to her brother, isn't she? You gonna eat that, Babs?" He picks up an empty plastic cup and gnaws on it. "Shame I wasn't invited to the party. It's no fun without a little bit of me!" He snaps his fingers and the lights crackle ominously.

"Lawrence," Charles says, his tone moving from merely chastising to angry. "Would you come with me?"

Beej stands up and flicks a finger at the chair, which scoots itself back under the table. "Sure thing, Chuck." He makes harsh eye contact with Bunnie. "If you hurt Lydia, you'll be sorry." He snarls, baring his teeth and revealing how sharp they are before slinking after Charles to the basement.

"Can we go back up to your room?" Bunnie asks.

Lydia winces. _She's going to get mad._ "Yeah, come on." Delia mouths an 'I'm sorry' at her and Barbara gives her a sympathetic look. "I want to show you the roof," Lydia says, sliding open her bedroom window and crawling out, giving Bunnie a hand as she joins her.

They sit in silence, thick and heavy, watching the sun lower in the sky. "I didn't know you had a brother"

"He's kind of a lot."

"Mm." Bunnie pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them as she looks at Lydia. "Why didn't you tell me about them? All of them, I mean. They seem important to you."

"The real story sounds crazy, Bun. Like, admit me to a mental hospital crazy."

"I like crazy, Lydia. I like you." She sighs. "Try me, okay? I'm not mad, I'm just… A little sad that you didn't trust me with it." Lydia grimaces and picks at a piece of plaster on the roof. Either way this goes, she could lose someone she cares about. Tell the outlandish truth and get laughed at, told to get help? Lie and make up some halfhearted story that she'll see right through?

She flicks the plaster over the edge, deciding on the truth. "When we moved into this house, the attic was locked. We couldn't get inside. I ran into two people one night, trying to haunt the house." She laughs. "They were really bad at it, but I could see them. I chased them up to the attic and took a picture – I have it hanging by my bed – just two sheets, floating. I submitted it to an art contest and came in second place! They said my photoshop was immaculate. But it wasn't photoshopped." Lydia focuses hard on the ground. "That was Adam and Barbara. They died here, fell through the floor in the living room. Their last name is Maitland, you might remember it from when we met, I was visiting their graves.

I made some really bad decisions back then, trying to get my dad and Delia out of the house. I was in a bad place, especially due to missing my mom, and I wasn't ready to move on. I summoned a demon to the house, and he wrecked a lotta stuff up. I almost got Barbara killed – hell, I almost got all of us killed." She lowers her head to her knees. Bunnie is silent, watching and waiting for the rest. "It took us a long time to forgive him. The demon, I mean, that's Beetlejuice. Or Lawrence. My brother. He can't really go back to where he came from, he's kinda in a lot of hot shit back there.

So, yeah. I've got three ghosts living in my house, and one of them almost killed all of us. It's not really an easy story to tell."

There's a long silence, much too long for Lydia to feel as though she was understood. "I believe you." Bunnie says.

"What?"

"I remember reading the Maitlands' obituaries in the paper when I was making that paper mache mask a while back." She reaches out and takes Lydia's hand. "And I definitely saw your brother make the lights flash. I understand why you didn't tell me."

"You're not mad?"

Bunnie scoots closer, leaning up against Lydia's side. "I'm not mad at all. I'm upset you had to go through all of that, and living with someone who did so much bad stuff can't be easy." Lydia moves, causing Bunnie to look at her as she suddenly cups her face in both hands. "What?"

She kisses her. "I love you."

"You love me?" Bunnie half-laughs, half-gasps, a confused smile on her face.

"I do."

"I love you too," She responds, and lets out a deep breath, leaning back onto her girlfriend's shoulder. "Next time I visit, can we prank your brother?" He kinda seems like an ass."

Lydia laughs. "Absolutely."


End file.
